you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird