You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
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sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow