You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.