During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
