It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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