Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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