We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize