just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
