Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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