So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
