We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
