So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
