Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
