Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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