If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
