Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
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I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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