That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
