Do you still have your period?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
