The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
