I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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