U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
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let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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