I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
