He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The power of my boobs compel you
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
