Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
