I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she told me i tasted like america
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
