went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
God, I missed his penis.
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