Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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