I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
