We named our party play list daddy issues
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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