whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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