my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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