i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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