But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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