So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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