the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i need some magic done to my vagina
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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