I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
