giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
