Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(251): View more from Alabama

I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.

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(757): View more from Virginia

It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like

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(214): View more from Texas

I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.

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(325): View more from Texas

Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...

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(425): View more from Washington

you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it

(206): View more from Washington

youre the best friend ever

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.

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(914): View more from New York

my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.

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(503): View more from Oregon

My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.

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