stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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