You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
