hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
