the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
