Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
