Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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