Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
