I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
