we have officially lost it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
