alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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