So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
