This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
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You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
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Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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