found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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