Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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