I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.