why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.