he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
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i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
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She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?