Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.