I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??