Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.