She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
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We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
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We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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