so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
